I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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