apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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