Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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