I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
