I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
