So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
