Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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