like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Houston, we have a blender
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
