Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
