she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
