What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
