Moan for me like Helen Keller
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize