I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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