In the future we'll all be gay
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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