i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
