so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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