new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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