chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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