After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
