Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We don't watch enough power rangers
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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