if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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