ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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