Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
