reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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