if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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