everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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