we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
