He is an equal opportunity slut.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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