I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
