so let's talk penis.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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