Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize