...so i touched it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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