Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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