He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize