I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
