I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
