And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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