It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize