About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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