Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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