just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
