She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize