dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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