he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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