3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.