Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
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The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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