I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
