I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.