$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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