I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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