When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Your penis caused this!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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