playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
