I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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