i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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