Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
