I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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