they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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