bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
