Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
