It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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