i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
