Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
