Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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